Two solutions before coffee

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This morning began with two problems:

A flat tyre and no internet

Admittedly, the flat tyre was yesterday’s problem, but replacing with spare wheel was only a partial solution ( yes, my husband did that – I am, for some purposes, most definitely female).
So finding a tyre repair place was today’s problem and without Internet!

Bermuda does have “Yellow Pages”, every bit as thick as those that magically appear on UK doorsteps. There is also a website:

http://bermudayp.com

Here both the hefty volume and the website includes street maps and restaurant menus, ….

Oh yes, no internet ….

There is also “Bermuda Pink Pages” at http://pinkpages.bm

This seems to be a search engine looking at brands, so if I wanted a specific make of tyre (or “tire” as the American spellchecker prefers) then Pink Pages would give me, for example, 3 local distributors of Michelin types. (Post-event research note: to reach the names of these distributors took five clicks as opposed to one for the Yellow Pages, and it didn’t list the place where I actually got my problem solved – not quite the “with a single click” or “on one page” that the site claims )

Back to my problem.

Sadly the Traffic Code Handbook (Bermuda equivalent of Highway Code) had no lists – I wonder if anyone has considered using advertising to pay for the production of this booklet – it would be really useful if it included a comprehensive list of all traffic related services. It is probably akin to medical schools not accepting pharmaceutical advertising, the government cannot be seen to favor any one line of business.

The free “Bermuda.com guide”, which I believe I picked up at the airport, has lots of really useful information:
Where to buy Waterford Crystal or Wedgewood. (AS Cooper)
That the dockyard is a wifi zone
A map of the best beaches
More than 20 different eating places
Where to hire a wedding car
Public holidays 2013
That the dress code is conservative

But not where to get your flat tyre fixed. 😦
(Not actually surprising given that it is issued for tourists and since there is no car hire on the island then flat types are probably not a major consideration). It does have a website:

http://Bermuda.com

Next on my pile of literature is New Resident, subtitled “Everything you need to know about moving to Bermuda”. This I was given by Donna-the-realtor, and had devoured every line in the first two weeks before we had a home, but it has been tidied away into the drawer. It actually is full of useful information – and I mean it this time, not just where to rent a jet ski ….
How to open a bank account
That there are six radio stations
What you could expect to pay for tea bags ($5.95 for 50 Twinings)
That the gender ratio of the island is 52% female
A map of the town
A chart of air and sea temperatures by month

But, sadly again,not where to get a tyre fixed.

New Resident is available from

http://bermudamedia.com

They also publish magazines focussing on insurance, sport, home building, and careers.

My only other leaflets were a ferry timetable and a bus timetable, which might be useful if the search for a tyre place failed.

You can probably work out that I have, at this point in time, solved both of my problems. I cannot claim that fixing the Internet was my achievement, it was just working again when I got back, but I did solve the tyre issue – why it took me such a long time to realise I had a smart phone I don’t know, but perhaps attributable to low serum-caffeine-levels.

There is a wonderful App “Bermuda Local” which solved my problems.

Just remember the American spelling of TIRE

The Discount Tire and Wheel garage not only opened at 8am, but removed the nail, tested the tyre, and put it back on the car “kwikker than a KwickFit fitter”. You probably have to be British to appreciate that joke.

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